DEAR ABBY: My sister has been seeing a married man for two years. He has told her the only reason he is staying in this loveless marriage is for his daughter (standard lie of a cheating husband).
His wife found out midway through this “relationship” but forgave him when he swore he would stop, which of course he didn’t. When I told my sister how wrong this relationship is and that she deserves better, I ended up alienating her.
I have recently learned that his wife just had a second child, and my sister is pregnant, too. I’m sick to my stomach with all of this. I told her how crazy her situation is, but she refuses to see how horrible “the man she loves” really is. She says she is fine raising this child alone, and if her lover is in their lives, then she will be satisfied with that.
I am the only one freaking out about this. How do I deal with it and not totally lose my sister? — Freaking Out in Illinois
DEAR FREAKING OUT: Your sister is an adult. She has made her choices and may have to learn the hard way what you have been trying to tell her. Realize that as much as you love her, you cannot live her life for her. Let her know you’re there for her and the baby, because she’s going to need all the support she can get.
Ask Mom to wear a robe
DEAR ABBY: I am 30 and my husband, “Brent,” is 35. We have had some financial troubles lately and recently had to move in with my mother-in-law.
My question is, how old should a child be before his mother quits walking around naked in front of him? My mother-in-law still walks around completely nude in front of Brent and his 39-year-old brother. Although she is in good health, she always seems to need Brent’s help getting in and out of the shower.
She also parades nude in front of me, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I have talked to Brent about it a few times, and he said she’s been this way his whole life.
Is this normal behavior? Am I overreacting? I have a daughter, and I don’t get naked in front of her. How do I approach this without causing hurt feelings? — Covered Up in the Midwest
DEAR COVERED UP: Obviously, in the household where your husband was raised, this behavior WAS normal. I am puzzled, however, that your mother-in-law needs help getting in and out of the shower. What are the “boys” supposed to do — scrub her back?
Because her nudity makes you uncomfortable, the most tactful way to approach this would be for Brent to explain to his mother that you were not raised this way, and that you both would appreciate it if she’d wear a robe when you’re around. It’s worth a try.
Make way for worshippers
DEAR ABBY: If I sit at the end of a pew in church and someone comes in after me insisting I move because it’s his/her “favorite” seat, should I do it or ask the person to sit somewhere else? — Got Here First in Pennsylvania
DEAR G.H.F.: If you’re sitting in God’s house, you should be on your best behavior. Don’t commit a sin of omission; be an angel and shove over.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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