Q: My husband, an avid soccer player, injured himself twice last year, leaving him unable to work for months at a time. He refuses to hang up his cleats because he says it’s his “one true passion.” I think he’s being selfish because his soccer injuries have caused a financial, emotional and physical strain on our family.
I can’t be the only wife/mom who doesn’t want the additional risk. Any advice on how to get through to him? — Sports Wife in Cleveland
A: I don’t know how old your husband is, but two serious injuries in one year may be a hint from Father Time that his reflexes aren’t as acute as they once were, and he should channel his passion in another direction. (Coaching, perhaps?)
Assuming you have insurance, contact your agent and ask if there is additional coverage your husband can take out in case he is seriously injured again. Of course, it won’t guarantee that he won’t hurt himself, but it might give you some peace of mind in case he does.
Q: I’m 23 and live with my parents, a situation I am working to change, to be sure. When I come home from work, I occasionally like to have a glass of wine or a beer. Obviously, because I’m an adult, this should not be a problem, but every time I touch alcohol my mom freaks out.
There is a history of alcoholism in my family, so I somewhat understand where she’s coming from. But I feel she needs to realize that I can have a glass or two of wine and it doesn’t mean I’m getting drunk or am an alcoholic. I am my own person, in control of my body, and I know my limits.
My family’s view of alcohol seems to have been skewed because of our history. Abby, one glass of wine a night does not an alcoholic make, right? — Unwinding in New England
A: Ordinarily, I would say no. But a tendency toward addiction can run in families, and for someone with a predisposition to alcoholism, a glass (or two) of wine every night could escalate and lead to problems.
Because you live in your mother’s house, try to be more sensitive to her feelings and respect them. She has experienced firsthand what it’s like to live with someone who has an alcohol problem, and it isn’t pretty. That’s why she is so sensitive about it.
Q: My neighbor often comes over to share some of her home cooking. Unfortunately, it tastes horrible. She invariably asks me the next day how I liked it, and I really don’t enjoy lying. How can I tell her I don’t like her cooking, and I don’t want her to bring me any more? — Tender Tummy in Washington
A: Use a variation on your signature and say that although you appreciate her generosity, for some time her cooking hasn’t agreed with you — you have a “tender tummy” — so please refrain from bringing over any more food.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.