Q: I am a recent nursing school graduate. My husband and I have a 1-year-old, and I just found out I’m pregnant again.
I’d like to get a job as soon as I can. My question is, should I tell prospective employers I’m pregnant? I don’t want to be passed over because of my “condition,” but I also don’t want to be hired and immediately inform them I’ll need time off when the baby comes. Am I legally or ethically obligated to disclose that I’m pregnant at an interview? — A Nurse in Michigan
A: I think you have an ethical obligation to inform your prospective employer. However, you are not legally obligated to disclose that you are pregnant. If you were not hired because of your pregnancy, you might have a claim for discrimination. And the same is true if you were retaliated against for not volunteering the information.
Q: My wife of 12 years, “Marie,” has a serious gambling problem. Every night, she goes straight from work to the casino and stays there at least until 1 a.m. We both have low-paying jobs, and we can’t afford this. Every time I mention it she gets really mad and stalks out of the room. Not only is it an expensive habit, but I hardly ever get to see her anymore. Please help. — Confused in Washington
A: It appears you are married to a gambling addict who is in denial. That’s why it’s important to separate your finances from hers if you can. A lawyer can help you do that.
There is an organization that might help you called Gam-Anon. It’s a 12-step fellowship for husbands, wives, relatives or friends of compulsive gamblers who have been affected by their loved one’s problem. Its website is www.gam-anon.org. Please check it out.
Q: We live in the Pacific Northwest and lately there has been a lot of news about an impending major earthquake due to hit our region. We understand it may not happen for a very long time, but it could also strike soon. We are planning to move to another part of the U.S. for our safety. My employer has an office there, and I can retain my job status and seniority.
The problem we see is, what do we tell people — friends and co-workers — about the reason for this transfer? We don’t want to come off as “Chicken Little” for something that may not occur within our lifetimes, but we also don’t want to endanger ourselves unnecessarily. Should we just say we are moving for “family reasons” or tell the truth or something else? — Running Away in Vancouver
A: Living in Southern California, this subject comes up in conversation periodically whenever we have a tremor. Years ago, after one of them, I met a woman who informed me that she and her husband were moving out of state for the same reason you are doing it. (I hope she’s enjoying the winters!)
If you are not comfortable informing people that your reason for relocating is fear of an untimely death, I don’t think you are required to. It wouldn’t be dishonest, however, to say that you are looking for a new adventure.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.