DEAR ABBY: I had weight-loss surgery three years ago. I am down 100 pounds and feel great. I’m new in the dating game and wonder whether I’m supposed to disclose that I was previously 100 pounds overweight. Is it any of their business, or do I not address the topic? — Less of Me in California
DEAR LESS: I don’t think your health history needs to be announced right from the “git-go.” As people date, get to know each other, become comfortable and eventually intimate, more and more information is revealed. When it’s appropriate to discuss it, you will know.
A woman’s tears
DEAR ABBY: I am a widower and am dating a divorcee. We have been together for about 18 months. She says she loves me and wants to get married. I like her and enjoy her company, but that is it. I also have no desire to marry or live with anyone again.
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I would like to end it and let her continue in her search for a husband, but every time I try to do it she cries. How can I tell her I am not the one? — Not the One in Wisconsin
DEAR NOT THE ONE: You and this lady have very different objectives. I assume that if she has burst into tears she has already gotten your message. My advice is instead of repeating it, to stop calling her. However, if you feel that to achieve closure there must be a face-to-face conversation, approach it with a large box of tissues in your hand and repeat what you have written to me.
Texting is prohibited
DEAR ABBY: For the first time I am hosting my nephew and his family for Thanksgiving. I abhor texting and any electronic amusements that deter face-to-face family communication. I need to know the best way to explain before they arrive that it is not allowed in my home. — Hostess With Rules in North Carolina
DEAR HOSTESS WITH RULES: Transmit your message the old-fashioned way. Call and tell them your wishes so they’ll have plenty of time to make other plans if they feel unable to comply with your “house rules.” It will also give you enough time to invite other guests in the event that your nephew and his family are so addicted to their electronics that they can’t comfortably abide by your wishes.
DEAR VETERANS: I salute each and every one of you for your service to this country. My thanks as well to the brave and dedicated men and women who are still on active duty. You are the personification of patriotism and self-sacrifice for your dedication to our country. — Abby
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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