Tempted by guys who bring trouble

03/31/2014 2:02 PM

03/31/2014 2:02 PM

D EAR ABBY: I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half, and I love him dearly. However, I often find myself drawn to other guys who I know are nothing but trouble. It never goes further than simple flirting, but I still feel guilty for doing it when I’m in a relationship. How do I keep myself from temptation? — Hard to Resist

DEAR HARD TO RESIST:

Temptation to do what? To involve yourself with a man who is nothing but trouble? A way to discourage that would be to ask yourself how you would feel if you lost your boyfriend. That would be a high price to pay for acting immaturely.

However, if you’re asking how to overcome the IMPULSE, my advice is to have an honest conversation with yourself about why you feel the need. Most of the women (and men) who act this way are constantly trying to prove to themselves that they are attractive. If this could be you, then start working on your self-esteem, because if you don’t, I predict you’ll ruin a good relationship.

Giving up on being slim

DEAR ABBY: I’m in my 50s and overweight. I work hard, eat three meals a day and am more or less healthy except for sore feet after work. I’m aware of the medical warnings. Who isn’t? But I have decided to accept myself as I am, relax and be happy.

For years I have been hard on myself for not being slim. This is me in my 50s. I don’t expect myself to be slim like I was in my 20s. Now I can smile, breathe easier, have a good time, and finally buy the new clothes I have put off buying until I was thinner. My new spirit is weightless, and my new attitude has made my life more meaningful. Any thoughts? — Living Free at Last

DEAR LIVING FREE:

Only this, that we all have choices to make about our health, what is important to us and how we want to live our lives. You have made yours, and at this point it appears to have been the right one for you. May it ever be thus.

Won’t drive on bridges

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a paralyzing fear of driving over bridges. It interferes with our life together. He is otherwise healthy, but will not see a therapist for this problem.

We have been married for 27 years. I am 63 and he is 67. I am very sad that our life is so limited. Any advice? — Landlocked in Virginia

DEAR LANDLOCKED:

It would be interesting to know how your husband developed this phobia. But because he refuses to do anything about it and you feel restricted, consider traveling with another companion.

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