DEAR ABBY: “Surfing in Petersburg, Ill.” raised good points about men who use online dating services. However, many of the things she pointed out could also be said of women who put their ads on the sites. The pickings are just as slim on our side of the fence. My hints to the “fairer sex”:
(1) Don’t overdo your makeup and hair in your photos. While some makeup can enhance a lady’s look, we aren’t seeking someone who looks ready to go trick-or-treating or perform as a clown in the circus.
(2) Decent men don’t want to see ALL of your physical attributes on these sites. Dress appropriately for your age and don’t allow the “girls” to burst out of your low neckline.
(3) Don’t start your first conversation with, “What do you do and how much money do you make?” Intelligent men will realize that you are not as concerned with finding a quality guy as you are with looking for a fat wallet.
(4) You don’t have to speak perfectly, but the teen lingo and texting abbreviations are a real turn-off.
(5) Don’t constantly complain about your ex. It provides insight as to why he opted to break off your relationship or file for divorce. — Dan in Ohio
DEAR DAN: Thanks for the input. I had a hunch my male readers would react to “Surfing’s” observations. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: To the ladies, I advise: Don’t post a 10-year-old photo as being the way you currently look. And don’t lie about your marital status or the number of times you’ve been married. These will come back to haunt you.
“A few extra pounds” does not mean 100 pounds overweight. If you are obese, admit it and say you are working on getting the weight off — and make sure you are. — Earle in Texas
DEAR ABBY: For women who post photos of their pets, it’s great that you love them, but I’m looking to date just their OWNER. Same thing for travelogue photos with no one in them — what’s the point? And if you say you are active with an athletic body, I’d like to see it. Descriptions can be subjective, and your perception might be different from mine. — Done My Time Online
DEAR ABBY: Selfies in the bathroom mirror are tacky. Have a friend take a picture of you. Avoid taking photos of specific body parts (lips, feet, etc.). It’s low-class.
Describe yourself in detailed terms. Every woman says she’s down-to-earth, decent-looking, caring and smart. A little originality goes a long way! — Looking in Lansing, Mich.
DEAR ABBY: A woman should never post her previous wedding picture when looking for a new life partner. Photos with the ex that you’ve ripped down the middle or cropped don’t work any better. We can still see his arm around you holding the 40-ounce beer, and it’s not a good image for us.
And ladies, if you’re looking for someone to sweep you out of that crappy life you’re in, forget it. Fix your life first to the point where you can enjoy it by yourself, and then look for someone to share it with. We guys like our fixer-uppers to be houses or cars, not our women. — Found My Queen on a Site
DEAR ABBY: I was taken aback by “Surfing’s” advice against facial hair. My beard is part of who I am. Assuming it is “hiding something” signals you may have trust issues with men. If you don’t like what you see, move on! — Happily Hirsute in Mississippi
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.