DEAR ABBY: I am five months pregnant with my second child and engaged to a wonderful man, “Tony.” We get along well with my ex-husband, with whom I share custody of my first child. But problems may arise when the baby is born.
I had a night of sex with a friend who is of a different race. Tony knows about it and the possibility that the baby will be mixed. He feels strongly that he will help me raise the child as his own.
My family knows nothing about this, nor does my ex. How should I handle the possible backlash and confusion if this child is, indeed, the product of my one-night stand? — Scared in the South
DEAR SCARED: Say nothing prematurely. If your baby turns out to be mixed race, deal with it matter-of-factly. While there may be confusion, all you have to do is say that you and Tony plan to raise this child together in a loving family. If they wish to participate, they are welcome. If not, make it clear that you will do it without their help.
Your baby will not be alone. According to the Census Bureau, the population of mixed-race Americans grew 32 percent from 2000 to 2010.
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, “Donna,” and I have been together for eight years. We have a great relationship, respect each other and never argue. She has a low-paying job, and I don’t ask much of her in regard to rent or other bills, but she does buy a few groceries now and then.
I have always told Donna that if she ever needs money, all she has to do is ask me and I’ll help with what I can. My dilemma is that she “borrowed” about $50 in change I had been saving in a coffee can and didn’t tell me. When I asked her about it, she said she’d put it back. That was more than a month ago.
Am I being petty? I’d hate for this to become an issue between us. Should I say something again, or just wait to see what Donna does? — Shortchanged Guy
DEAR SHORTCHANGED: That Donna would take the money, not tell you, and not pay it back or start “feeding the kitty” is disappointing. Because it bothers you to the point of writing to me, tell her what’s on your mind. If you don’t, it will fester until there is an eruption. Better to air this now, before it grows out of proportion.
Anybody in there?
DEAR ABBY: Upon going into a public women’s restroom where the doors of the stalls are closed, what is the polite way to check if someone is in a stall? Should I try to open the door or look under to see if there are feet? — Gotta Go in California
DEAR GOTTA: The time-honored, foolproof method is to check if there are feet. It’s less disruptive than pushing on the door, which might startle an occupant.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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