Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost eight months. We love each other and talk often about marriage, family, etc.
The other night, just for fun, I looked online at rings and showed my mom a few I really loved. She quickly dismissed all of them and started telling me how I need a big stone and that it needs to be expensive. Then she went online and looked herself and was telling me which ones I should be interested in. Mom offered to take me to a jeweler’s to find the “perfect” ring.
She has always been a helicopter parent, but now, as my boyfriend and I are becoming more serious, she’s going into warp drive. How can I tell her gently to butt out? Also, what’s your advice on the ring situation? — Daughter of a Helicopter Mom
Q: I’m a young woman in my 20s. I have been blessed with a loving family, lots of opportunities and people who care about me. My problem is, I don’t feel worthy of any of it.
A lot of the time when I’m around people, I feel like I’m on the outside looking in — like an intruder. When I join groups and listen, I feel like I’m eavesdropping. When I try to pitch in, I feel like I’m annoying everyone. I try to be like people who other people like, but I feel I fall far short of the mark.
I wish I could change and be less irritating and more interesting, but I don’t know how to change my personality, or even if I could. I’m just tired of not feeling worthy enough. I know this feeling isn’t rational, but it’s here to stay, apparently. What should I do? — Unworthy
What is correct today? And what about an invitation to a party? — Careful in California
As to inviting the person to a party — not everyone grieves in the same way or for the same length of time. Unless religious custom prevents it, if you think the friend or relative might enjoy the event, by all means extend an invitation. The invitee can always refuse if it’s too soon.