Q: My daughter and son-in-law have only one vehicle that is running. He works out of town, so he drives it, which leaves my daughter home all day without transportation.
Earlier in the school year, they signed up my granddaughter for after-school sports, and she has to practice every day. Since my daughter has no way to take her, they expect me to pick up my granddaughter and bring her home. This means I have to wait for her for about an hour after I get off work, which delays me an hour or more getting home.
After working all day, I’m tired. I just want to get home and get all the things done that I need to do, so I can rest and get ready for work again the next day. I’m not sure what I should do. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated! — Tired and Used
A: This shouldn’t be your responsibility. When your daughter and son-in-law signed up the child for sports, they should have thought it through. Rather than impose upon you, perhaps they should ask the parents of other children in the program if your granddaughter could ride along.
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If that’s not feasible, consider this: You stated that your son-in-law drives the only running vehicle, which leads me to believe they have another one that’s broken down. Could you loan or give them money to put it in working condition? If so, you would be off the hook.
Q: I’m the manager of a medium-sized apartment building with several older tenants. As these tenants get older, their needs become greater. When it’s time for the children and family to step in, not ALL do. Some think — and have actually told me — that giving the manager $20 at Christmas will ensure that Mom/Dad gets to the grocery store, bank and doctor, and the bills are paid all year.
Abby, this is not my family, and I do not feel obligated to take them to run their errands. Their children then tell me, “What am I supposed to do? I don’t have time,” etc., and I reply that it’s their responsibility, not mine.
Is there a legal means to make them take care of their own? Threatening to have them charged with elder abuse doesn’t always work. — Not a Day Care or Retirement Home
A: If you’re feeling charitable, make a list of various resources for seniors in your community and offer the information to the “children.” Further, neglecting a vulnerable, elderly parent is considered elder abuse, and if that’s what’s going on, you shouldn’t “threaten.” You should report it to your county adult protective services office.
Q: I was engaged to a man for seven years. Two weeks after we celebrated our seventh anniversary, he decided he didn’t love me anymore. We parted a year ago, but he has been texting me, picking me up from work and taking me to lunch or dinner quite a lot lately. We spent one night together, but since then, he hasn’t contacted me. What should I do? — Trying to Make Sense of It in Hawaii
A: Recognize that your former fiance has the sensitivity of a rock. Accept that a rewarding relationship with him is not in the cards, move on and stop looking back.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.