DEAR ABBY: I’m in my 40s and my boyfriend of three years is 12 years older. We are in love and our relationship is great. He travels for work and lives in another state, so he flies in to see my daughter and me every other week. Because he is older, he uses Viagra, and it’s kept at my place in a drawer. I assumed that’s where it was always kept.
Abby, when he left for his trip yesterday, he took his Viagra with him! He says that he grabbed the bottle without thinking and that I’m overreacting. The rest of his things are kept in his travel bag, so it’s not like he just gathered up all of his pills. They were the only ones. Now he’s upset with me because “I don’t trust him.”
Can you help me get my thinking straight? I caught him lying about something when we first started dating, so he’s not all squeaky clean like he acts. — Suspicious in Virginia
DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Unless your boyfriend was prescribed the Viagra for a condition other than ED, I’d say you have a right to be suspicious.
Talk with him further because he may have been contemplating a “party of one” during his travels and not have been looking for adventure.
How to tell Mom?
DEAR ABBY: I’m in the middle of a situation that I’m not sure how to deal with. My mother’s husband made a pass at my boyfriend. My boyfriend thinks I should tell her.
Abby, my mother and her husband are in their 70s, and I don’t want to cause problems in their marriage. I’d like to write it off as a “misunderstanding,” but my stepdad has a history of doing things like this. — Anonymous in Oregon
DEAR ANONYMOUS: If your boyfriend didn’t already, he should tell your stepfather the pass was unwelcome and he doesn’t want it to happen again. If it does, you and your boyfriend should talk to your mother about it and explain why she’ll be seeing less of you unless she visits you alone.
Because this isn’t the first time your stepfather has acted inappropriately, it won’t be news to her. And because she has tolerated his behavior in the past, I doubt it will cause problems between them now.
No accounting for taste
DEAR ABBY: My husband’s family gave us a large painting that is not our taste at all. We would love to get rid of it, but of course we feel obligated to keep it and hang it to not hurt their feelings.
They live nearby and visit often, so putting the painting away doesn’t seem realistic. We live in a small apartment and there is nowhere “discreet” to hang it. Plus, it is too large to take to our offices.
Other than staging a robbery, are there any options that would keep everyone happy? — Grinning & Bearing It
DEAR GRINNING: Another option would be to level with your in-laws. Tell them you are grateful for their generosity, but the artwork is not your taste, and then ask if they would mind if you exchanged it.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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