How do I respond professionally without falling back on “It is a job requirement”?
The easiest response is simply to say, “It’s against the club rules.” But if you don’t want to do that, Miss Manners suggests saying politely, “If we meet socially, of course, but not on the job.”
This is a quiet way of exposing the fake egalitarianism, because the member is unlikely to ask you to the bar for a drink after your shift. For good measure, you might add “sir” or “madam” to the statement.
Q: Is it socially acceptable for someone to have a benefit and ask people to donate to their college education?
The best way to judge the acceptability of such a request is to ask yourself how you would react upon receiving it. Would you be charmed to be invited to pay someone else’s college tuition?
What should one do if one does not wish to partake of said treats? I am afraid of refusing for fear of offending, yet do not like the idea of taking the treat and then throwing it out.
Sometimes, actually quite often, I enjoy indulging in these goodies. But sometimes they are not on my “favorites” list, and I would rather pass. Several of us in the office have this problem. What is the best way to handle this?
The phrase you are searching for is “No, thank you.” Expanded, if the person lingers, it would be “They look delicious, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass this time.” In the unlikely event that this brings on a torrent of tears, your next inquiry would be to find out what else is wrong.
Judith Martin writes the Miss Manners column with help from her son, Nicholas Ivor Martin, and her daughter, Jacobina Martin. Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, MissManners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.