Dog lover. Extroverted introvert. Exhausted dater.
Lyndsey Agron, 34, wears many hats … and many hairs.
“I typically change my hair color every six months to a year,” she says. “It’s strawberry blond right now.”
Because why not?
Kansas City born and raised, Agron is an analyst for a consulting company and a theater geek at heart. She loves giving vocal lessons to kids.
“My passion is music and performing. … I’m into nerdy things, but I’m not that well-versed — like talking with you about the back story of Superman or anything like that.”
And despite being a theater performer and singer, she’s a bit shy.
“I’ve always been an observer. Once I’m out, I’m going. But I’m socially awkward. I think that theater has helped immensely. Doing theater and teaching have helped me get out of my shell. You have to when you’re on stage.”
Agron’s dating record is so bad that she describes herself as “the most single girl in all the land.”
“I tried all the online stuff. I’m on Tinder, and I just downloaded Bumble, an app where women have to make the first move,” something she would never do in a noncyber setting. “I don’t know where people are finding people on eHarmony, but it is not working for me.”
A brief recap of recent suitors:
There was Two-Date Tinder Guy, who told her, “You can have as many dates as you want” but declared them incompatible a few days later.
“Even if they like me, they don’t want to date me.”
Then there was Old Guy — 10 years her senior. He now owes her hundreds of dollars … long story.
And last but not least: Porn Addict. He loved live-streaming and even became Facebook friends with one of his favorite adult stars.
“My dating life is stupid and comical.”
But enough’s enough.
“It’s like that ‘Sex and the City’ episode where Charlotte says: ‘I’ve been doing this since I was 15. I’m tired. Where is he?!’ That’s me.”
For now she has Charlie, her Chihuahua mix. The Overland Park house she recently bought has a huge backyard just for him.
“It’s dumb how much I love my dog. I try not to show people pictures and be that dog mom that has a ridiculous amount of pictures on my phone.”
Despite home ownership, she still claims to “know nothing about being an adult.”
“In my 30s, sometimes I just want to hang out with my dog and play Mario Kart alone.”
What she does know is what she wants in a relationship:
“I’ve never had a relationship where you’re like, ‘Cool, go out with your guys and have a good night,’ and you don’t have to worry about him flirting with other girls or doing something stupid,” she says.
Witty banter, reciprocity, mutual respect and “nonmanipulative” stuff is what she’s looking for. A bestie with testes.
“I’m in a wedding next month, and (the couple) are just best friends, and I think that’s just the coolest thing — that that’s your pal forever,” she says. “You don’t have to worry about impressing someone or compromising your happiness for someone else’s.”
Find Lyndsey online at facebook.com/lyndsey.agron
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