‘Choke’ | 2 stars
By ROBERT W. BUTLER
The Kansas City Star
One semi-great movie — “Fight Club” — already has been made from a Chuck Palahniuk novel.
So fans of the outrageous writer will simply have to suffer through the mess that is “Choke” and console themselves with memories of better times.
“Choke” stars the generally reliable Sam Rockwell as Victor, a surly/weary malcontent who works as a historical re-enactor at a Colonial-era theme park. In his off hours Victor is a sex addict who hangs around 12-step programs because there are plenty of willing babes (a common theme in Palahniuk’s world). And he’s a con artist who specializes in choking on food in restaurants.
Victor has discovered that once someone saves your life — say, with the Heimlich maneuver — that person feels obliged to look after you, to help out when you’re financially strapped and otherwise assume responsibility for your well-being. At any given time he has a half-dozen good Samaritans sending checks.
As reprehensible as he is, at least Victor doesn’t spend the money on himself. He uses it to support his mother, Ida (Anjelica Huston), who resides in a shabby but still expensive nursing home, sinking ever deeper into senility. Usually she doesn’t recognize Victor, imagining he is someone else from her past. She often talks with these “friends” about what a rotten son Victor is.
To the extent that “Choke” has a plot, it’s about Victor meeting and falling — sort of — for a new doctor at the nursing home. Paige (Kelly Macdonald of “No Country for Old Men”) seems normal except for her demand that Victor have sex with her in the facility’s chapel. It’s a disaster, since the usually priapic Victor is intimidated at the thought of performing in front of a crucifix.
Periodically we get flashbacks to Victor’s nomadic childhood with Ida, a cynical and fiercely eccentric grifter who denies the kid anything remotely like a normal life. She won’t even let him cavort on a park playground with other boys and girls, insisting that Victor devote his spare time to perfecting his role in their latest scam.
About halfway through, the film introduces the truly bizarre notion that on a trip to Italy Ida may have been impregnated with DNA from a holy relic — Jesus’ petrified foreskin — which would make Victor Jesus’ only son.
Offended yet?
“Choke” was scripted and directed by Clark Gregg, an actor — he’s a regular on TV’s “The New Adventures of Old Christine.” He gives himself a juicy role as the “governor” of a Williamsburg-like attraction, which he lords over like a genuine 18th-century despot. Employees who break the rules by appearing without their wigs or speaking in modern slang are condemned to spend time in the stocks.
But the film has no pace, no style and no sense of forward momentum. Rockwell is given lots of narration in an attempt to glue it all together, but it doesn’t help.
“Choke” is ugly, too, as if it had been shot through a lens coated with old yellow floor wax.
‘CHOKE’ ★★
Director: Clark Gregg
Cast: Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, Kelly Macdonald
Rated: R for strong sexual content, nudity and language
Running time: 1:29
Join the discussion
Share your observations and experiences about news. Lively, open debate is the goal, but please refrain from personal attacks or comments that are racist, vulgar or otherwise inappropriate. If you see an inappropriate comment, please click the "Report as violation" link to notify a KansasCity.com editor. Thanks for your feedback.