To buy a gift or not? It&rsquo;s a recurring question every birthday, baby shower and special occasion. And here we are in the thick of holiday gift guides. </p><p>I&rsquo;m known for being big on presents, but as time goes on and responsibility sets in, I&rsquo;m pulling back. It&rsquo;s hard not to feel guilty showing up at a wedding empty-handed. That kind of retail shame has led me to spend enough on presents over the past two years that I could have easily bought those Christian Louboutin red bottom stilettos and the Sony Reader I asked Santa for. </p><p>I&rsquo;m a gifter because I like doing nice things for the people I love when I can. But you can&rsquo;t buy gifts for every person you know and every event you&rsquo;re asked to attend. </p><p>And let&rsquo;s use the term &ldquo;know&rdquo; loosely, considering I get invited to events by people I know through a third party and sometimes that party is Facebook.</p><p>Let&rsquo;s get real. This is a recession. In the time of furloughs, layoffs and pay cuts, we are all affected. According to a new Consumer Reports Holiday Shopping Poll, 65 percent of Americans plan to cut back on overall holiday expenses such as gifts, travel, parties and all.</p><p>Gift giving isn&rsquo;t fun when you feel obligated. </p><p>Recently, a friend of mine made a long drive to a suburban shopping center to buy a gift she didn&rsquo;t even want to give. Why? The recipient bought her something months ago. All of that and she didn&rsquo;t even get a thank you. And that&rsquo;s nothing compared to the horror story I heard about an out-of-state baby shower that some old friends traveled to only to endure drama and catfights.</p><p>Seriously, we have to check ourselves when it comes to defining the heart of a celebration. Is it gifts? Is it how many people show up? If so, it&rsquo;s not the party to be at.</p><p>Seems like stuff we all should know, but I think it&rsquo;s easy to get caught up in social politics. Lst month, I took a stand. For the first time, I ignored a gift registry and went to a wedding without a present. And I wasn&rsquo;t the only one.</p><p>Guess what? No one even batted an eye. The bride and groom were just happy to have their family, friends and well-liked associates all in one room, celebrating their love. That&rsquo;s what I&rsquo;m talking about, a gift that can&rsquo;t be bought.</p><p>If anything, this recession has taught us all lessons that go well beyond finances. It&rsquo;s teaching us to cherish life and the moments worth celebrating.