COMMENTARY

By any name, they’re all cheaters

David Letterman’s confessed affairs with staff members have his image in question. Jon Gosselin is bad guy numero uno thanks to his tacky indiscretions. And who can forget South Carolina’s randy, adulterous governor, Mark Sanford, who is being urged to resign.

I don’t feel sorry for any of them. One could say you reap what you sow. But I would like to know why it is that cheating women are all sunflowers and happy days when they participate in two-timing relationships?

LeAnn Rimes cheated on her husband with Eddie Cibrian and is moving into his ex-wife’s neighborhood. Alicia Keys, one of my favorite singers, is, sad to say, having an affair with producer Swizz Beatz, and his divorce papers have yet to be final. Atlanta housewife Kim Zolciak isn’t even a wife. Shouldn’t you be a wife if you are on the Bravo “Housewives” series? She’s openly proud to be a mistress and has the nerve to think she’ll get the fairy-tale ending with her “big poppa.”

Monica Stevens of thismay concernyou.com, an open-letter blog, recently wrote about Kim Zolciak, and she says the double standard stems from old gender stereotypes.

“Men are so notorious for cheating that they are easier targets, says Monica, 26. “The whole idea of women cheating and being so open and cavalier is new. Now it’s become a power trip, they think, I have your man and I am going to tell the world about it.”

When did it become cool or influential to be the other woman or the cheating wife? I feel sorry for the spouses who are being betrayed and have to live through it publicly.

But because this is the world we live in, where the intimate details of celebrities’ lives make for blog fodder and juicy gossip, let’s be fair. One cheater is no better than the other, regardless of gender. Bigger than that, if we’re going to talk about cheaters, why not use it as a way to have a meaningful conversation about marriage rather than sling mud?

Monica says it’s because people are so caught up in reality TV’s shallow image of life that they’ve lost sight of what true love is.

“Reality TV has taken away the emotions you are supposed to go through to meet someone and fall in love. They have taken the boy meets girl out of it. All of these shows are about vying for love in a competitive format. Love has become a game. People aren’t just desensitized to love. I think overall, people are desensitized to virtue.”

We’ve got to wake up. We’re becoming all too insensitive and casual about love and marriage when a kept mistress can be considered a housewife. I’m not married, but I hope to be one day. But even weddings have become ripe for exploitation –– not only big business but a new form of entertainment. (Catch Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s event on E! Nov. 8.) Seriously, marriage has become something you can walk in and out of too easily.

When you walk down that aisle, you vow to be together until death do you part. Not cheat as soon as things get difficult.

Jeneé Osterheldt’s column runs in FYI on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. To reach her, call 816-234-4380 or send e-mail to josterheldt@kcstar.com.

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