<table> </table> Tonight begins the first serious TV ratings period of the year — and that means lots of heavily promoted stories on the local news about things you won’t believe their reporters found going on in the area. (Not to get too Andy Rooney about this, but I always wonder why local newscasts tease an upcoming story by saying, “You won’t believe what we found.” Well, then, I guess I should stop watching because I was lured to your program on the obviously false pretense that I would be delivered credible facts.)The fall season supposedly starts in September, but November sweeps is when the networks really get into gear with their best programming. That way you’ll tune in to your local affiliate and, hopefully, stay tuned afterward for the news.Here are some prime-time picks from the next four weeks that you can believe in:•“Ugly Betty” (7 tonight, ABC). Tabloid reports say Lindsay Lohan’s six-week guest run as a rival to Betty (America Ferrera) ended two weeks early because of the usual Lohanesque drama off-screen. But an unnamed source told the New York Post that “America was mean to Lindsay.” Why do I have the feeling this was always meant to be a four-week gig and the “feud” was just a way to get people re-interested in this show?•“Saturday Night Live” (10:29 Saturday, NBC). The last “SNL” before Election Day will probably be filled with Obama and McCain references — and I’m not even talking about the commercial breaks. But tune in anyway to the Ben Affleck-hosted show because the man you voted “American Idol,” David Cook, is the musical guest.•“The Simpsons” (7:30 p.m. Sunday, Fox 4). The annual “Treehouse of Horrors” special will be a must-see for its long-awaited parody of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” But it’s the segment featuring dead celebrities — Homer kills them off so that advertisers can use their images — that takes “The Simpsons” to the creative brink it only occasionally reaches these days.•“Law & Order” (9 p.m., Wednesday, NBC). It’s back, in more ways than one. Not only is the second longest-running drama in TV history returning for a 19th season but, thanks to NBC’s ratings struggles, it has been returned to the Wednesday-night slot where it ruled the roost from 1992 to 2006.•“Samantha Who?” (Nov. 10, ABC). Mary-Kate Olsen guest stars as (quoting ABC publicity) “a troubled young woman.” Why do I have the feeling Mary-Kate will be wearing a lot of eye shadow?•“Super-Manny” (Nov. 14, ABC). No, it’s not an action series based on the life of baseball’s most colorful hitter. It’s a spinoff of the fix-my-child reality show “Supernanny” with a male counselor.•“Boston Legal” (Nov. 17, ABC). Cheri Oteri guest stars as a woman who employs the law firm after she is fired allegedly for revealing that she voted for John McCain for president. And that, my friends, is why they call it acting.•“CSI: NY” (Nov. 19, CBS). To celebrate its 100th utterly unmemorable episode, the Gary Sinise crime drama has booked a flotilla of unmemorable celebrity guest stars including Chris Daughtry, Nelly, Julia Ormond, Marshall Faulk and Rumer Willis.•“24: Redemption” (Nov. 23, Fox). To set up the seventh season of “24” in January — and slake the thirst of “24” fans who’ve had to go without a single overly contrived “real-time” episode for nearly two years — this two-hour special, filmed in Africa, is set four years after the end of Season 6 and opens with Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) on trial for something a little more serious than DUI.

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Posted on Wed, Oct. 29, 2008 10:15 PM

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Prime-time TV: How sweeps it is

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Tonight begins the first serious TV ratings period of the year — and that means lots of heavily promoted stories on the local news about things you won’t believe their reporters found going on in the area. (Not to get too Andy Rooney about this, but I always wonder why local newscasts tease an upcoming story by saying, “You won’t believe what we found.” Well, then, I guess I should stop watching because I was lured to your program on the obviously false pretense that I would be delivered credible facts.)

The fall season supposedly starts in September, but November sweeps is when the networks really get into gear with their best programming. That way you’ll tune in to your local affiliate and, hopefully, stay tuned afterward for the news.

Here are some prime-time picks from the next four weeks that you can believe in:

•“Ugly Betty” (7 tonight, ABC). Tabloid reports say Lindsay Lohan’s six-week guest run as a rival to Betty (America Ferrera) ended two weeks early because of the usual Lohanesque drama off-screen. But an unnamed source told the New York Post that “America was mean to Lindsay.” Why do I have the feeling this was always meant to be a four-week gig and the “feud” was just a way to get people re-interested in this show?

•“Saturday Night Live” (10:29 Saturday, NBC). The last “SNL” before Election Day will probably be filled with Obama and McCain references — and I’m not even talking about the commercial breaks. But tune in anyway to the Ben Affleck-hosted show because the man you voted “American Idol,” David Cook, is the musical guest.

•“The Simpsons” (7:30 p.m. Sunday, Fox 4). The annual “Treehouse of Horrors” special will be a must-see for its long-awaited parody of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” But it’s the segment featuring dead celebrities — Homer kills them off so that advertisers can use their images — that takes “The Simpsons” to the creative brink it only occasionally reaches these days.

•“Law & Order” (9 p.m., Wednesday, NBC). It’s back, in more ways than one. Not only is the second longest-running drama in TV history returning for a 19th season but, thanks to NBC’s ratings struggles, it has been returned to the Wednesday-night slot where it ruled the roost from 1992 to 2006.

•“Samantha Who?” (Nov. 10, ABC). Mary-Kate Olsen guest stars as (quoting ABC publicity) “a troubled young woman.” Why do I have the feeling Mary-Kate will be wearing a lot of eye shadow?

•“Super-Manny” (Nov. 14, ABC). No, it’s not an action series based on the life of baseball’s most colorful hitter. It’s a spinoff of the fix-my-child reality show “Supernanny” with a male counselor.

•“Boston Legal” (Nov. 17, ABC). Cheri Oteri guest stars as a woman who employs the law firm after she is fired allegedly for revealing that she voted for John McCain for president. And that, my friends, is why they call it acting.

•“CSI: NY” (Nov. 19, CBS). To celebrate its 100th utterly unmemorable episode, the Gary Sinise crime drama has booked a flotilla of unmemorable celebrity guest stars including Chris Daughtry, Nelly, Julia Ormond, Marshall Faulk and Rumer Willis.

•“24: Redemption” (Nov. 23, Fox). To set up the seventh season of “24” in January — and slake the thirst of “24” fans who’ve had to go without a single overly contrived “real-time” episode for nearly two years — this two-hour special, filmed in Africa, is set four years after the end of Season 6 and opens with Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) on trial for something a little more serious than DUI.

Posted on Wed, Oct. 29, 2008 10:15 PM

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