<table> </table> Let me just say at the outset, I know which of these two shows debuting tonight was designed for me: &#8220;Gary Unmarried,&#8221; of course, which stars Jay Mohr, who&#8217;s close to my age and plays a single dad with a disagreeable ex &#8212; not unlike some people I know. It&#8217;s a sitcom taped, as they say, before a live audience (always preferable to the alternative).</p><p>And then there&#8217;s &#8220;Knight Rider,&#8221; a show clearly aimed at a viewer one third my age. The star is a Ford Mustang that talks, solves complex problems and can turn itself into a pickup truck in about five seconds &#8212; while going 100 mph.</p><p>Reality TV it ain&#8217;t.</p><p>But kids loved the original, which starred German sensation David Hasselhoff and a Pontiac Trans Am.</p><p>And so, like salmonella in the kitchens of the unvigilant, it has returned.</p><p>I like &#8220;Gary Unmarried.&#8221; It&#8217;s like other sitcoms I&#8217;ve seen of late involving newly broken-up households (remember when the sitcom single dad was widowed instead of divorced?). It&#8217;s directed by James Burrows, a comedy legend who directed every &#8220;Will &amp; Grace&#8221; ever. It has lots of laughs.</p><p>But not as many as tonight&#8217;s episode of the new &#8220;Knight Rider.&#8221; Which I&#8217;ll get to in a minute. But first, I must retell the story behind the original &#8220;Knight Rider,&#8221; as told by Tim Brooks and Earle Marsh in their authoritative <em>Complete </em><em>Directory</em> of TV shows.</p><p>It was the early 1980s and NBC&#8217;s head of entertainment, Brandon Tartikoff, was wondering how he could make a TV series that did not require any acting ability from the male lead actor. Apparently all the handsome dudes Tartikoff was considering building a series around were terrible actors, like David Boreanaz &#8230; Hasselhoff! I meant Hasselhoff!</p><p>Anyway, the idea was that the actor only needed to speak a few words: &#8220;Good morning,&#8221; to the girl as he rolled out of bed; &#8220;Freeze!&#8221; to the bad guy; and &#8220;You&#8217;re welcome,&#8221; to the grateful citizens at the end of the show. The rest of the dialogue would go to the car.</p><p>It worked, though in fairness Hasselhoff turned out to be not so awful. Evidently, though, the NBC executives weren&#8217;t taking any chances this time around, because not only does his successor on this show, male model Justin Bruening, play second banana to a car (voiced by Val Kilmer), he has to share camera time with several youthful counterparts who watch and comment snarkily on his every move from the nerve center of Knight Industries, the shady company that built and maintains the car, known as KITT. (The nerve center of Knight HQ resembles the CTU on &#8220;24,&#8221; only sillier.)</p><p>&#8220;Knight Rider&#8221; has it all: 24th-century technological overkill, women removing their clothes for no reason, bad guys firing multiple automatic weapons with no accuracy and so on.</p><p>KITT&#8217;s new driver is Michael Traceur (Bruening), who, in the pointless mythology that connects the two &#8220;Knight Riders,&#8221; is the estranged son of Michael Knight, KITT&#8217;s original owner/operator. He looks to be about half the size of Hasselhoff. When the script calls for Michael to dispatch two musclebound thugs chasing him with guns, the three men conveniently disappear behind a closed door, forcing viewers to imagine him taking them out with his fists. Good idea.</p><p><hr class="infobox-hr-separator" /> <div class="infobox"> <strong><span class="infobox-head">&#8216;GARY UNMARRIED&#8217; </span></strong><br /> <strong>Premieres:</strong> 7:30 tonight on CBS (KCTV-5)</p><p><strong><span class="infobox-head">&#8216;KNIGHT RIDER&#8217; </span></strong><br /> <strong>Premieres:</strong> 7 tonight on NBC (KSHB-41)</p><p></div>