<table> </table> <strong><span class="subhead">TONIGHT</span></strong></p><p>When a reporter asked Ian McShane last summer to explain what the heck &#8220;Kings&#8221; was all about, McShane lectured him about asking such numbskull questions. But the reporter was onto something.</p><p>&#8220;Kings,&#8221; having its two-hour premiere at 7 tonight on NBC (KSHB-41), is allegedly patterned on the biblical story of Saul and David. But that&#8217;s sort of like saying &#8220;Tabatha&#8217;s Salon Makeover&#8221; is based on the story of Samson and Delilah.</p><p>Set in a modern-day monarchy where the king (McShane) actually runs the show &#8212; albeit one propped up, predictably, by a nefarious corporate front &#8212; &#8220;Kings&#8221; is oddly tedious, thanks to a supporting cast of uninteresting characters and a script loaded with heavy-handed analogies to health-care reform, Halliburton and the Clintons.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">MONDAY</span></strong></p><p>Just in case the title isn&#8217;t fair warning enough for you, I would advise not watching &#8220;Death on a Factory Farm,&#8221; airing at 9 p.m. on HBO, until dinner was fully digested.</p><p>The same guy who used hidden camera video to shut down a Missouri puppy mill in a 2006 HBO documentary is back at it, this time documenting animal cruelty on an Ohio hog farm. Unlike doggies, pigs make a huge contribution to the American diet &#8212; so you&#8217;d think that would lead to the authorities shutting it down posthaste, wouldn&#8217;t you? Think again.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">THURSDAY</span></strong></p><p>On the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, Sundance Channel (digital cable) lines up three documentaries beginning at 9 p.m.: &#8220;Heavy Metal in Baghdad,&#8221; about a Metallica-inspired slash-rock band that tries to survive, literally, in post-invasion Iraq; &#8220;Hometown Baghdad&#8221; at 10:30 p.m., which follows three college students in 2006 as the Iraqi capital exploded with insurgent violence; and the Oscar-nominated &#8220;No End in Sight,&#8221; which examines the American policies that got us neck-deep in trouble there, at 12:15 a.m.</p><p><strong><span class="subhead">SATURDAY</span></strong></p><p>Four-a more-a Nora Roberts romance novels have been adapted by Lifetime after the successful foursome of TV movies that aired in 2007. They will air at 8 p.m. on consecutive Saturdays, beginning with &#8220;Northern Lights,&#8221; starring LeAnn Rimes.</p><p>In its ongoing Saturday night battle with Hallmark Channel for women&#8217;s hearts and minds (or at least advertising dollars), Lifetime takes a page out of Hallmark&#8217;s book by casting &#8220;mature&#8221; actresses in supporting roles, including Faye Dunaway for &#8220;Midnight Bayou&#8221; (March 28) and Cybill Shepherd on &#8220;High Noon&#8221; (April 4).