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Posted on Sat, Oct. 24, 2009 07:49 AM
Faith Walk | I learned the sacredness of death early on
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As I pull into the driveway, I ask for the right words to make her sons feel better. I pray that God will give me divine guidance to help this family through death.
Shirley has not eaten or been able to drink for several days. She is very thin and pale but appears comfortable. Her family wonders why she is not dying. They love her, but they feel her time has come. And yet, death does not come. Her breathing remains shallow, her heartbeat very faint. As I stand and count her breaths, she looks upward and smiles a radiant smile.
“Shirley, do you see something I can’t see?” I ask. Though there is no answer, I know that she does. An hour later, her journey is over.
Death was not a stranger to me or to my four siblings. Due to the proximity of the highway and the prolific fertility of our family cat, we often suffered the agony of pet deaths. Whenever we lost a pet, there were many tears and soggy sandwiches for lunch. Then our focus moved to planning the funeral. A rousing funeral for the departed cat seemed important and was a good way to fill a summer afternoon.
We sang “Sweet Hour of Prayer,” “Jesus Loves Me” and “I’m in the Lord’s Army.” Our cats were buried adorned with dandelions, Queen Anne’s lace and black-eyed Susans. The centerpiece was the eulogy, delivered by the “preachers.” Our local Methodist church minister was loved by all of us, and to emulate him was an honor my brothers cherished. One would give the sermon, and the other dug the grave and found a box to bury the cat in.
I am thankful for those pet funerals and all the reminders throughout my years that death is as certain as life. I have always had a strong faith in God, and I knew that God would take the souls of our cats to heaven. The rites of burial helped me and my siblings learn how to cope with an occurrence that we all face in our lives.
As a hospice nurse, I see many struggle with death. I am also privileged to see joy in death for those of faith. I have seen the faces of people who appear to have seen something not visible to those in the room when death draws near.
I think when I see my God, I will be better able to describe that look of sheer joy and happiness that I cannot now adequately describe with words. It reaffirms my faith every time I see it and reminds me what a privilege it is to be with someone on their last journey.
Jean Gibson is one of 13 contributors to the Faith Walk column. Reach her at faith@kcstar.com.
Posted on Sat, Oct. 24, 2009 07:49 AM
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