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Kim Oyler portrait for Faith Walk. Garvey Scott/The Kansas City Star
Even before I started writing for this column, my faith walk was already on display for all to see. You see, I’m a pastor’s wife. My words, actions and emotions are on display throughout the week. I know that others in our church may be watching and, perhaps, registering silent admiration or disdain for what I do and say.
Our family vacation was just beginning, and my two sisters, parents and I had come from our various corners of the country to meet in a secluded cabin high in the mountains near Denver. My sisters and I lead very different lives, which can sometimes cause misunderstandings or mutual frustration common in any family. But we had looked forward to this time together to enjoy the outdoors and to rest.
I was raised a Christian, mostly because the adults in my family were raised Christian. Cultural tradition often dictates how we expose our children to faith. But that’s not what we had done. As freethinkers, we had decided to raise our children without religion. But was that the right choice? Recently, a very dear friend of mine invited our family to attend services at her Unitarian Universalist Church. This friend had read an entry I had written on a blog called The Secular Parent, about how my children were getting teased. She told me that Unitarians were welcoming of agnostics, atheists and freethinkers in general — and they were especially welcoming toward children. They see the Unitarian church as a place of refuge against the constant taunting of kids (and even parents!) who didn’t understand their countercultural stance.
I find myself in an odd mix of spiritual growth. Prayer, talking with Creator God, is finally fun again. I would rather pray with my friends than shoot the breeze with them. For a long time everything felt a bit forced, but I have made it back to the delightful side. Also, I discovered last weekend that I actually enjoy attending church services again. My husband and I had quit going to church. The Sunday ritual had been causing chaos rather than decreasing it. I had started to think of church as a chore, and perhaps even punishment. Returning was so refreshing. Now we participate because we want to, not because we feel we have to.
Garden Valley Nursing & Rehab
Chapel Hill Presbyterian Church
Superior Door Service, Inc.
