<table> </table> To all those who fear the invasion of our shores by foreign languages &#8212; I&#8217;m speaking to you, stalwarts of the "English Only" movement &#8212; seriously, you need to travel more.</p><p>Perhaps they simply have not experienced signage such as these doozies from China:</p><p>Deformed man toilet (disabled-access restroom).</p><p>Airline pulp (airline food).</p><p>The slippery are very crafty (slippery when wet).</p><p>If you are stolen, call the police.</p><p>Do not climb the rocketry (rock wall).</p><p>These are examples of "Chinglish" provided by the Global Language Monitor, an Austin, Texas-based group that monitors the use of English worldwide. Fluency is obviously lacking in these phrasings, culled in honor of the Olympics to showcase how English is abused in China. The upshot is that English is spreading worldwide, albeit imperfectly, at an astonishing rate.</p><p>Twenty-five percent of the world&#8217;s population speaks English, according to the Language Monitor. In Beijing alone, nearly 5 million people speak English. That is more than one-third of the city&#8217;s population.</p><p>Apparently this trend is lost on those trying to eliminate various government efforts in the U.S. to aid non-English speakers here through translators, bilingual ballots and, yes, the ever-unpopular "Press 1 for English" automated telephone options.</p><p>The debate about language inside the United States is obviously a manifestation of public dissatisfaction with immigration policy, especially the persistence of illegal immigration. It&#8217;s a simple fact that we&#8217;re all better off when non-native speakers can get the basic information they need when on the bus, in a courtroom, on an emergency hotline or in countless other everyday situations. Yet for some ultra-patriots, to deny them that information is a handy way to punish immigrants, legal or illegal.</p><p>Consider that in recent years virtually every state has considered efforts to enforce English-only laws, which are an attempt to force non-native speakers toward English as their primary language (without the understanding of how long it takes to become truly fluent). Some polls show as many as 85 percent of Americans think this is fine idea.</p><p>It&#8217;s not always clear what American nativists feel they have at stake in the issue of foreign language signage and telephone messages. Many seem to believe that foreigners in our country are "refusing" to learn English, or that the value of our mother tongue is somehow diminished by the presence of an immigrant who stammers through with his attempts at communicating. This is absurd, as is the equally widespread belief that immigrants are adamantly adhering to their native language out of some sort of disrespect to the U.S.</p><p>Also lost on the English-only crowd is the dynamism of their language.</p><p>English, as it&#8217;s spoken on both sides of the Atlantic, has over the centuries grown richer and more supple with every "invasion" of non-native speakers, be they immigrants or colonial subjects. Youth subcultures and technology, too, have left an indelible mark on the way we speak. No one ever heard of Google, much less used it or &#8220;text&#8221; as a verb, prior to the virtual explosion of the Internet (another new word) and cell phones.</p><p>English the world over is the language of commerce, science and technology.</p><p>It is <em>the </em>compulsory second language that most students must learn from China to Chad to Chile.</p><p>In India and the Philippines and countless other places, learning English is one of the surest ways to get ahead. Why would anyone suppose it&#8217;s any different among the immigrant children of America?