Halloween. So much to be offended by, so much to miss while fuming.</p><p>Watch for this jokester at upcoming parties. The orange jumpsuit of jail attire, head covered by a big-eyed extraterrestrial mask.</p><p>Don&rsquo;t get it? The wittiest adult outfits need no captions. But this lame idea comes with &ldquo;Illegal Alien&rdquo; splashed across the jumpsuit, an accompanying sign to carry marked &ldquo;Green Card.&rdquo; </p><p>The pitch on the Web sites: &ldquo;He didn&rsquo;t just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy!&rdquo; </p><p>Let the politically correct police begin writing citations (another challenging costume design). </p><p>We get it. The alien costume stretches the image of the illegal immigrant to absurd measures, akin to being less than human.</p><p>But before anyone gets too huffy, please remember that the Halloween we enjoy as adults is an equal opportunity offender. Pregnant nun, anyone? </p><p> Pick the genre. &ldquo;Biggest daddy pimp&rdquo; and the &ldquo;Instant Redneck Kit&rdquo; stand out in a quick scroll through costume sites.</p><p>Howl like a banshee if you want about this one-day holiday from cultural sensitivities, but these are normally reasonable people climbing into these burlesque roles. Not enough P.C. handcuffs to go around.</p><p> And, yes, I&rsquo;ll go quietly, officer. I confess to joining a trio of characters from Quentin Tarantino&rsquo;s &ldquo;Pulp Fiction&rdquo; the year the film came out. I was the one playing Uma Thurman, post overdose, so I had the adrenaline syringe sticking out of my chest.</p><p>Any recovering addicts offended?</p><p>Naturally, the backlash against the alien suit backfired in the usual way. It became a top seller.</p><p>Target, Amazon and Walgreens online outlets culled it. But others leapt to rack up the profits.</p><p>Pretty much sold out.</p><p>I wonder if other &ldquo;illegal alien&rdquo; costumes would be as &ldquo;funny.&rdquo;</p><p>How about putting on the faded jeans and sweaty shirt of the person who picks your salad lettuce. Paint your face yellow and label it farm pesticides.</p><p>Maybe don the drab hotel garb of the woman who straightens your vacation room. Extra prop: the tiny tip you left her after trashing the room for three days.</p><p>Or, you guys, come to the party with roof shingles attached all over. Or with a chainsaw strapped around your waist from gutting hogs all day on a wet concrete floor.</p><p>Teachable moment: The more specific term is undocumented immigrant. It&rsquo;s a conditional status that can change.</p><p>By the way, a lot of foreign students from many countries fit the category. So if you&rsquo;re really cheap, just stand around in usual clothes, hold an old college text and fake a foreign accent. </p><p>But don&rsquo;t wear the orange jumpsuit version. Not only is it tacky; it doesn&rsquo;t make any sense. You can&rsquo;t be an &ldquo;illegal&rdquo; if you&rsquo;re holding a green card. Duh!