DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 19 years. I offered his plumbing services to a married couple I work with. While he was fixing the problem, he became friendly with their adult daughter. She was lonely, and I knew the family, so I wasnt concerned. Their relationship developed into something more and we separated. He ended their friendship and we reconciled.
By JEANNE PHILLIPS
Things were going great, but she continued to contact him. He has suddenly decided he cant live without her friendship and has decided to divorce me in order to continue it with her. He swears its platonic but something he cant live without. He hopes we can still be friends!
I have to see her enabling parents every day at work, and all of this happened under their roof. I feel betrayed on every level, especially by my husband, who was my best friend.
Have you any advice for moving past this without all of the anger I carry? I dont want to leave my job. It pays well and the commute is easy.
P.S. My husband and I still live together as roommates, as this is all very recent, and we havent figured out our living arrangements yet. Wronged in New England
DEAR WRONGED: I do not for one minute believe that your husbands relationship with this woman is strictly platonic, and neither should you. Consult a lawyer now, while you and your husband are still roommates. Make sure he doesnt hide any assets because, after 19 years of marriage, you should be entitled to a healthy share of them.
I agree that you have been wronged, but for now hang on to your temper. Best friends dont treat each other the way you have been treated. It may take the help of a religious adviser or licensed mental health professional for you to let go of your anger.
Nothing is private
to nosy friend
DEAR ABBY: My friend of five years, Gigi, has a heart of gold. However, we were raised differently. Gigi comes into my home when Im not here and borrows whatever she needs without telling me. And whether Im here or not, she feels free to go through everything personal documents, my drawers and cabinets. Nothing is safe from her fingers or her eyes.
I have tolerated her behavior because when I tried talking to her about it, she became upset and started crying, which made her husband irate. Im now dating a man who values his privacy, and my friends behavior bothers him. Hes friendly with Gigis husband and deals with my friend only out of respect for her husband.
How can I get her to leave things alone without her having another meltdown? I dont want to lose a friend, but my boyfriend has a valid point that I happen to agree with. Invaded in Texas
DEAR INVADED: How does this woman get into your home when youre not there? Does she have a key? If she does, ask for it back or change your locks.
And when you know Gigi is coming over, place anything you would prefer this nosy woman not peruse out of sight or under lock and key. That way, you can reclaim your privacy without being directly confrontational.
© Universal Uclick 1/29
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