DEAR ABBY

Husband depressed, thinking about leaving his family

Updated: 2014-01-12T02:11:50Z

By JEANNE PHILLIPS

Universal Uclick

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are a young couple, married almost two years. He recently told me he isn’t happy with me anymore and that he may want to leave. He won’t tell me why. He says he doesn’t know why.

It was a complete shock to me. He refuses to seek marriage counseling and has dealt with a lot of depression for which he won’t seek help, either. We have a child, and I am now pregnant again. It hasn’t changed his thoughts about leaving.

What should I do for myself and our children? What can I do to help my husband change his mind? I’m still deeply in love with him. — Confused in South Carolina

DEAR CONFUSED: I can only imagine how painful this must be for you. Because your husband won’t see a counselor about your marriage or do anything about his depression, then YOU should. And when you do, start figuring out a “plan B” for how you will support your children if it becomes necessary. You should also consult an attorney who can help you ensure that your husband lives up to his responsibilities if he does decide to leave.

The reason for your husband’s ambivalence will become apparent in time. You may love him deeply, but for your sake and that of your children, it’s important you stay calm and rational.

Protect kids first

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law is a registered sex offender. I am uncomfortable having him stay at our house with my husband and me and our children. My mother-in-law insists we need to forgive him and let him stay. I hate putting my husband in the middle (it is his sister’s husband), but I do not want him under our roof overnight.

Am I right to refuse, or do I let him stay and be on major guard? — Mommy in Memphis

DEAR MOMMY: As a mother, it is your job to protect your children. Because you feel your brother-in-law might be a danger to them, he should sleep elsewhere — and “forgiveness” has nothing to do with it.

© Universal Uclick 1/11

Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Dear Abby runs Monday through Saturday.

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