DEAR ABBY: I was laid off from work, but my husband, Keith, works full time in a factory. We live with his parents. By the time Keith gets home from work and gets cleaned up, its time to eat dinner. Immediately afterward, we always follow the same routine: We go in our bedroom, and he goes on the computer to play video games, while I sit and watch TV and play on my phone.
By JEANNE PHILLIPS
We love each other and rarely disagree about things, but this isnt fun for me. I have told Keith I feel ignored and Id love to do something WITH him. He says because our town is smallish, theres not a lot to do that doesnt cost money.
Keith is into the video games, so much so that when we first met, hed sit in his bedroom and play for hours on end. Were planning a vacation in the next month or so, so its not like we do nothing at all. But I dont know how to improve our situation. Calling for Help in Kokomo, Ind.
DEAR CALLING FOR HELP: After a hard days work, your husband may just want to sit down and relax. But that doesnt mean you couldnt schedule some activity together on a weekend: hiking, skating, kayaking, going to an art show or seeing whats scheduled at the convention center. You could also make a date with other young married couples or occasionally schedule a girls night out with some of your female friends.
I agree that its important for you and your husband not to get into a rut. Thats why you need to budget so you CAN get out and have some fun together a few times a month.
Confused about sexuality
DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I met Holly, the love of my life. We married and had a child. Soon after our sons birth, I found out Holly had a boyfriend on the side. Our divorce was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Because of her instability, I was granted custody of our son.
Since the divorce I have developed an attraction to men. Is this normal after a nasty divorce? I never thought of myself as gay or bi until about a year afterward. I know that I never again want to experience the pain I went through.
I have been celibate now for almost four years, and Im trying my best to set a good example for my son. I miss having someone to hold and share life with, but in the area where I live, having a gay relationship would cause me to lose my son. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. Is This Normal? in Arizona
DEAR NORMAL: It is important that you determine exactly who you are, whether it is a walking-wounded heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. A licensed psychotherapist can help you with this, and do it in confidence.
Regardless of your sexual orientation, you should realize that when breakups happen between couples and that includes male/male, female/female and heterosexual there is usually heartbreak involved. However, without risk there can be no reward, and celibacy is not the answer. If it turns out that you are, indeed, gay, then you should consider relocating to a more gay-friendly area.
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