DEAR ABBY

Deadbeat has tattoos for four kids but not his own

Updated: 2013-11-06T01:32:32Z

By JEANNE PHILLIPS

Universal Uclick

DEAR ABBY: For 2½ years I have taken care of my daughter without the help of her father. He pays child support only when the courts threaten to throw him in jail, but he never comes to see her. When he does come by, it’s not to see or spend time with her, it’s to try to get sex from me. Sometimes I give in and give it to him as an itch to scratch.

He recently got “married” and now has four other children. The last time he was over, I noticed that he has all his children’s initials tattooed on his arm except our daughter’s, and it bothered me.

I only want what is best for my little girl, and I have made it clear that if he isn’t a part of her life now, he needs to stay away until she’s an adult. I don’t want her to be hurt by a part-time or sometimes dad. I guess my question is, is it OK to be angry that he doesn’t recognize her as his child but does his other four? — PO’D in Ohio

DEAR PO’D: Oh, goodness gracious, yes. And because you don’t want your child to be hurt by this man, I’m advising you to quit being his booty call. There are other ways to scratch an itch, depending upon whose itch it is. If you continue seeing him under these circumstances, you could wind up being the mother of another one of his children, God forbid.

Work is no place for kids’ fundraisers

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this hoping that anyone who is in a supervisory position at work will see it and think before pressuring employees to buy popcorn, cookies, wrapping paper, trinkets, chocolate bars, etc., for their children’s schools or organizations.

This is extortion. I have tried saying, “No, thank you,” but I get such a bad attitude from my supervisor that I end up ordering something, usually the cheapest item, to avoid the drama.

I can’t afford to drop $20 here and there on items I wouldn’t otherwise buy or eat. It’s a lot of money to employees who haven’t had wage or benefit increases in more than four years. I can barely keep my car filled with gas and have to unroll coins sometimes to pick up food for dinner a day or two before payday.

PLEASE tell bosses and managers not to solicit sales from employees. It’s tacky! — Turned Off in Pennsylvania

DEAR TURNED OFF: I’m happy to get the word out because I agree that the sales tactic your supervisor is using is tacky. Parents who do this for their children deny the kids the experience of doing the selling and learning to cope with rejection if prospective customers don’t buy.

Because you don’t have $20 to spare, you might be able to deflect the “attitude” by offering a small donation — a dollar or two — to the cause. But if you can’t spare any money, then stiffen your spine and don’t let yourself be made to feel guilty. Buying things you don’t need is not part of your job description.

Sister-in-law coming on strong

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law wrote the following to my husband in a birthday card: “I couldn’t find a card that really fit you. None of them said ‘sweet, kind, sexy, lovable, friendly, intelligent or one of the best brothers-in-law ever,’ so I’m telling you in my own words. If I could get ahold of my husband’s money, I’d send you on a cruise.”

Was this appropriate? I don’t think so. My husband says she didn’t mean anything. Help? — Shocked in Tennessee

DEAR SHOCKED: Speaking of cruises, throw your sister-in-law a lifesaver, because I think she went overboard.

© Universal Uclick 11/6

Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Dear Abby runs Monday through Saturday.

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