DEAR BILLY GRAHAM: I dont know what we did to be such bad parents. Our son (whos 26) is constantly getting into trouble writing bad checks, not paying his bills, etc. He always says hell change if well just bail him out one more time, but he never does. Where did we go wrong? T.F.
By BILLY GRAHAM
Tribune Media Services
DEAR T.F.: Your son alone is responsible for his actions; he cant blame you for what he does, nor should you blame yourself or feel guilty because of his failures. Job declared, If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone (Job 19:4).
Does this mean it doesnt matter how we raise our children? No, of course not. Children learn from us how to live, both from our words and our example. When we fail as parents, our children may be more likely to ignore what is right and do what is wrong. And if weve failed as parents, we need to face it and confess it to God (and sometimes to our children). The Bible says, Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).
The real question you face, however, is this: How can you help your son right now? Can you do anything to teach him to be more responsible? Hard as it may be for you, the best thing you can do is not bail him out, but force him to face the consequences of his actions. He probably wont change if he thinks youll always be there to bail him out.
Then pray for him, and urge him to turn his life over to Jesus Christ. Right now, hes selfish and undisciplined, but God loves him, and his life will never be the same once he gives it to Christ.
© Tribune Media Services 10/14