Q. Dear Abby: When my husband and I married, I thought I had hit the jackpot in mothers-in-law. We were becoming friends, going shopping together, etc. Now, five years later, 15 minutes with her sends me over the edge. She’s rude and judgmental and gossips like a teenager about everyone.

She put together a cookbook for me filled with my husband’s favorite recipes. After trying half a dozen of them and failing at every one, I realized she had omitted certain ingredients in every single one. When I asked about it, she told me she just wanted her son to prefer her cooking over mine.

Then there was the time she was baby-sitting and took our son to see Santa Claus for the very first time without asking or telling us. I found out about it months later when I looked through her scrapbook.

My husband is on my side 100 percent when it comes to his mother. What is the appropriate way to handle her? She makes us want to move away. — Ready to Pack in Ohio

A. Dear Ready to Pack: Limit the time you spend with her. When you see her, be careful not give her sensitive information you don’t want shared. If you want to prepare a special food for your husband, find recipes that haven’t been “doctored.”

As for Santa, remember that your son was so young he probably has no memory of it. And now that you know what poor judgment your mother-in-law has, make other arrangements for a sitter when you need one.

He wants a hot one

Q. Dear Abby: I am a divorced father of two children, one in college and the other in high school. I am well-educated and earn an above-average income. I’m in decent shape and considered a “catch” by many of the single women I encounter. But most of the women in my age bracket (mid-40s) or slightly younger no longer take care of themselves.

I’m looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life. Most single men I know also put a premium on a woman’s appearance. Why don’t women understand this? Where would you suggest finding a suitable partner for someone in my situation? — Mr. Particular in Tucson

A. Dear Mr. Particular: Start at the nearest gym. If that doesn’t net you what you’re trolling for, another place to look would be the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Hef throws large parties there, many of which are charity fundraisers. Who knows? For a generous donation you might meet a woman who meets your standards — providing you have enough assets of your own.

© 2012 Universal Uclick 10/22