They lie. They throw tantrums. They play favorites.
They’re not tykes. They’re bad bosses.They’re fodder for movies — “Horrible Bosses” debuts Friday, featuring three workers who hate their managers so much that they consider murder. (Not a wise move.)They’re the reason for a national contest under way at WorkingAmerica.org, a community affiliate of the AFL-CIO, which will award prizes today for tales about the worst bosses. And they’re the focus of hours spent on psychologists’ couches as unhappy employees try to deal with flawed workplace relationships.Whenever the job market flounders and workers feel stuck, there’s a noticeable increase in attention to unhealthy work relationships.There are many, many wonderful managers, to be sure, and it’s unfair to demonize supervisors as a class.But nearly half of all workers, 46 percent, said in a new OfficeTeam survey that they’ve worked for unreasonable ones.Workers cite a panoply of human frailties on display in workplaces: Micromanagers. Incompetents. Spotlight grabbers. Bullies. Lousy communicators. Saboteurs. Lazy bones.Complaints recorded in the online “bad boss” forum include the nearly comical: “My boss comes into my cube and picks his nose. Then he flicks whatever he has removed from his nose into, thankfully, my wastebasket.” And they include the frightening: “If you fill a form out incorrectly (misplacing a comma, perhaps) he’ll go off into a rage. It’s almost like a cartoon. He’s a gigantic guy, his face turns bright red, and he starts mumbling to himself. It’s usually how incompetent you are. Then he tells you how stupid you are, in front of all your co-workers. If you dare to speak up against him, in any way, he bad-mouths you to his boss, who will side with him no matter what. He’s uttered the phase, ‘I’ll come in and kill everyone.’ ”Prizes in the online contest will include weeklong stays in vacation condominiums and other deals.Once upon a workplace, fed-up employees would say, “That’s it. I’m outta here,” or an equivalent goodbye. But the lackluster job market — with few greener pastures to jump to — is testing the coping skills of workers who’d like to leave.“There aren’t a lot of choices. It’s either leave or stay,” said Leigh Branham, founder of Keeping the People, a workplace consulting company based in Johnson County.The message to workers generally is that the boss isn’t likely to change. The organization probably is comfortable with the results he or she produces.“Generally, if you can’t work with your boss, you’re better off looking for a new one,” Branham said. “But if you’re staying, it’s incumbent on you — not your boss — to initiate a difficult conversation.”The OfficeTeam survey found that 59 percent of those who felt tormented at work have stayed put.“If you can’t get out, take a deep breath and examine how you can improve communication lines,” suggested Meg Montford, a career adviser at Abilities Enhanced in Kansas City. “Communication is key. Little things can get blown out of proportion.”But fair warning: Communication may not make things better. Sometimes there are oil-and-water personalities that won’t ever mix.And just because a person claims to have a bad boss doesn’t necessarily make it so. The worker may be the only one who thinks so. Some bosses aren’t as awful as some employees make them out to be. And, face it, all employees aren’t hard-working angels.But assuming a truly terrible supervisor, “typically what happens when employees work for a bad boss is that they rebel,” said Keith Ayers, president of Integro Leadership Institute, noting that they take sick days when they’re not really sick, they slow down production or even sabotage projects.Ayers said, though, that he found a commonality among managers fingered as bad bosses. It’s a lack of respect for employees.Without mutual respect — and with the press of business in today’s do-more-with-less workplace — bosses are more likely to demand results at all costs, particularly if the organization holds them accountable for fiscal outcomes rather than interpersonal skills. There’s also no doubt that some bosses, elevated by dint of past accomplishments or family ties, haven’t been trained to manage well.Branham once was brought into a company to counsel a “command and control” boss labeled as abusive to workers. It was soon apparent that the man had no intention of altering his management style. He firmly believed that people wouldn’t get anything done without a kick to the backside, Branham said.The end result? An early retirement package for the boss who wouldn’t be tamed.At Dale Carnegie Training, chief executive Peter Handal said he thought most people were trainable.“The boss may not realize what he or she is doing,” Handal said. “He or she may not understand the ‘employee engagement’ and teamwork environment in today’s workplaces.”Handal agreed that the onus was on the employee to bring problem boss behaviors to the attention of the organization or the boss individually.“But be careful. Don’t be a volcano exploding,” Handal said. “It’s important to begin in a friendly way. Talk about the weekend first. If you start out with a complaint or accusation, the boss will get very defensive.”How to deal with a bad boss•“Manage up.” Initiate a private conversation to let the boss know how his or her behavior makes you feel. •Ask what you might do differently to make your boss happier.•If your organization is large enough, find out whether it’s possible for you to transfer to a different job.•If the boss’s behavior is illegal or violates company conduct codes, make a formal complaint to your human resources department, assuming your company is large enough to have one.•Try to “compartmentalize” your work and personal life so that work conflicts don’t spill over at home.•If attempts to improve the relationship fail, begin looking for another job.
