I can’t decide which is worse. The conclusion of Dancing with the Stars (I thought I was golden when I took Kurt Warner in the first round of my DWTS fantasy league), or the fact that this weekend marks the end of the regular season in most fantasy football leagues.

Admittedly, that’s a ridiculous quandary; but I’m still a bit doped up on tryptophan.

Come to think of it, maybe that’s what happened to Philip Rivers on Sunday night. That seems a better excuse for his first non-scoring game of the season than “his defense was so good, he didn’t need to throw a TD pass.”

I’m too pooped to do the research, but perhaps tryptophan has the opposite effect on diabetics, which could explain Jay Cutler’s monster performance against the proud Eagles defense.

Is Peyton Hillis diabetic too?

Nah…he’s just a frickin’ frackin’ stud, as my Aunt Pat might say. (Note to the IRS: The use of “frickin’ frackin’” in this column justifies my write-off of the Biro family’s Thanksgiving-week vacation to Indiana. Thanks for your understanding.)

And what are we to make of Houston’s much-maligned defense pitching a shut-out against the Titans? Apparently we must amend our once-bulletproof hypothesis that “anyone can torch the Texans’ secondary” with the qualifier “anyone but Rusty Smith.”

That said, I have no explanation for Chris Johnson’s stat line (5 carries, 7 yards). Or the appeal of fruitcake, for that matter.

Alas, wherever your team resides in your league’s standings, it’s too early to hit the couch. Whether you’re cruising to the top seed, vying for a playoff berth, or playing the role of spoiler, there’s work to be done.

It begins Thursday night, when the Eagles host the Texans. Free insider tip: Michael Vick is no Rusty Smith.

And Kurt Warner is no Emmitt Smith.

OK, it’s time for my nap.

FREE AGENT PICKS AND PANS

To win a fantasy championship, you need to start with a good draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents can also make a big difference. Here’s a look at a few players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else’s line-up.

Catch ‘em while you can

Toby Gerhart, RB, Vikings. Whether or not Adrian Peterson’s ankle injury costs him his delicious Week 13 matchup with the Bills, Gerhart is a must-get for every AP owner. Better yet, non-owners should put in a claim as well, if only to block your competitor from doing what he should have done weeks ago.

Maurice Morris, RB, Lions. Jahvid Best was active on Thanksgiving, but he didn’t get a single carry due to his lingering toe injuries. Enter Morris, who crossed the goal line twice while accumulating 75 combined yards. Though the Lions face the stingy Bears defense this weekend, Morris is worth a pickup. There’s no telling when, or if, Best will be running at full speed again this season.

Tashard Choice, RB, Cowboys. With Marion Barber expected to miss two weeks (or more) with a calf strain, Choice will finally see the touches that many Cowboys fans believe he should have been getting all along. Felix Jones remains the starter, but Choice is arguably the most complete back on the Dallas roster. He has risen to the occasion previously, when injuries to Barber and/or Jones have given him the chance to shine.

Don’t be fooled

Earl Bennett, WR, Bears. He scored twice yesterday on just four catches, which now gives him a whopping three TDs on the season. He hasn’t totaled more than five receptions or 76 yards in any game to date, so count me skeptical that he’ll be anything other than a headache to anyone who picks him up for the stretch run.

Ben Obomanu, WR, Seahawks. He’s scored in three of the past four games, including Sunday’s 159-yard effort against the Chiefs. So why am I not impressed? Mostly because I don’t trust Matt Hasselbeck, and Mike Williams should return from his foot injury soon. I simply can’t envision any scenario in which I’d feel comfortable starting Obomanu with postseason success on the line; so why bother picking him up?

Texans defense. Don’t even think about it.