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Get a clue, get a date


Note: This story originally appeared October 23, 2005

Should you do it in person? Call? E-mail? Text? If the person is interested, you'll get a yes no matter the method. But remember it's easier to reject someone by e-mail than in person.

Think beyond dinner and drinks. Ask him/her out for ice cream, a double date with your dogs or to a high school football game. But make sure the person isn't a vegan, cat owner or traumatized by high school memories.

If they say no, don't react. Say "all right," and pretend nothing happened. Advice from pick-up-woman.com says acting in a negative way makes you look crazy. If you brush it off easily, your rejecter might regret turning down such a confident, easygoing person.

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Daniel Spottswood, 29, is a native Kansas Citian and has a weekly comic strip in The Star's Preview section on Thursdays. (See his relationships play out in real time in his strip.)

"To tell you the truth, most of the people who probably want to have a relationship, who are near my age, are probably settled down right now," he said. "There's sort of like damaged people out there. You can find them in the bars. Most of them have intimacy issues. ... Good luck trying to get to know them.

"I always see the life I couldn't have at Target. I see all these couples picking out Tupperware and stuff there."

Is he bitter about the girl who left him a few months ago after five years together?

"No, she only destroyed my life," he says. "No, no, I did it to myself. Must take personal responsibility."

- As told to Andrea Lorenz/The Star

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