<table> </table> I am not at liberty to explain how I obtained a confidential instant-message exchange between Chiefs president/general manager Carl Peterson and Raiders owner Al Davis.</p><p>But I was able to verify that if this computer communication between Peterson and Davis did indeed happen on Tuesday, it reveals a troubling and hilarious relationship between two of the most outdated and inept football executives working today.</p><p>Enjoy.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>Al, I apologize for not being able to personally thank you following our big victory over your Raiders on Sunday. It goes without saying that I will forever be in your debt.</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>Carl, don&#8217;t worry about it. Anything the Raiders organization can do to keep you employed within our division we are committed to making happen. We&#8217;ve read the reports back here that Clark Hunt is thinking about replacing you. The Raiders do not want to see that happen. We hope that 2-14 is enough progress for Clark to keep you and Herm Edwards around for at least one more season.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>Al, we feel the same way about you here in Kansas City. The Chiefs need you in charge in Oakland so we have a shot at avoiding last place in the AFC West. Your stewardship of the Raiders has given us great pleasure in Kansas City. We love what you&#8217;re doing with JaMarcus Russell. I&#8217;m not sure we could&#8217;ve won that game without JaMarcus&#8217; assistance.</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>Again, don&#8217;t worry about it. After the way Tyler Thigpen played in the first game, we felt like we owed you the best of JaMarcus Russell. If you notice, we made a point of putting the game in his hands rather than Darren McFadden&#8217;s.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>That was great. McFadden ran for 160 yards in the first game, and he only ran it seven times in Oakland. THANK YOU!!!</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>We owed it to you. Hell, you drafted Glenn Dorsey. Would it really be fair for us to get maximum production from our talented rookie when your overweight rookie can&#8217;t get off the line of scrimmage? I wouldn&#8217;t do that to you, Carl. We&#8217;ve been milking the NFL for money for too long together for me to take advantage of your inability to draft.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>Hey, you drafted JaMarcus Russell No. 1 overall. He&#8217;s as bloated and out of shape as our defensive tackle. We both know how to screw up a high draft pick.</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>Quit being so defensive. We all have our weak spots. You can&#8217;t draft and I run off good coaches. I&#8217;m comfortable with my weaknesses.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>I drafted Derrick Thomas, Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson. You can&#8217;t hit them all.</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>You know what Derrick Thomas, Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson will get you?</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>What?</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>One playoff victory since 1993.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>LOL. That&#8217;s about as funny as Tom Cable as head coach. Was Larry The Cable Guy unavailable? Wouldn&#8217;t return your calls?</p><p><strong>DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: </strong>Easy, Carl. Your guy Herm isn&#8217;t exactly setting the world on fire. He&#8217;s a defensive &#8220;guru&#8221; and his defense can&#8217;t get off the field.</p><p><strong>KingCarl@huntmoney.com: </strong>Hey, why are we taking shots at each other? We both got what we wanted this weekend. I got a victory and can lie to my fan base and claim we&#8217;re making real progress. You helped me remain employed through the holidays. Happy Holidays, Al!